


Sunset to Sunrise

by un_abel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29338860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/un_abel/pseuds/un_abel
Summary: Oikawa Tooru. The only person that’s been a constant in Iwaizumi’s life. Through different schools, teams, friends, everything. Oikawa was always there, just out of Iwaizumi’s reach—always there as a friend but nothing more. Not that Iwa had ever done anything to express his lingering feelings towards his best friend; he would never want to put their decade of friendship at risk. But every night before he falls asleep, it’s Oikawa’s face he sees. Iwaizumi can still remember the exact moment he fell for the brunette.But now they're older, and Oikawa has found someone he thinks is right for him. As much as Iwaizumi wants to be happy for his best friend, it hurts.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi ok this is my first attempt at writing any sort of fanfic outside of just headcanons so like...please be nice.  
> i really hope you like this!! i'm not sure how long it'll be, but i'll try to update at least once a week (most likely on weekends). 
> 
> shout out to my irls for putting up with me writing this instead of doing homework ily guys <3

Oikawa Tooru. The only person that’s been a constant in Iwaizumi’s life. Through different schools, teams, friends, everything. Oikawa was always there, just out of Iwaizumi’s reach—always there as a friend but nothing more. Not that Iwa had ever done anything to express his lingering feelings towards his best friend; he would never want to put their decade of friendship at risk. But every night before he falls asleep, it’s Oikawa’s face he sees. Iwaizumi can still remember the exact moment he fell for the brunette. 

They were only nine years old, but even then, they were best friends without a shadow of a doubt. After spending a long summer day together, the sun started setting. Oikawa found himself mesmerized by the orange and pink sky. 

“Isn’t it beautiful, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked. 

“Yeah, it is,” Iwa replied, without bothering to look away from Oikawa’s face. 

But the days when it felt like Iwaizumi and Oikawa were the only people in the world were far behind them. Ever since Oikawa became the starting setter at Aoba Johsai, the fangirls seemed endless. It’s not like Iwaizumi could blame the girls for how they felt about Oikawa because, let’s be honest, the guy is attractive, but it always bothered Iwa that none of the girls ever seem to look any further than his looks and volleyball skills. There’s so much more to him than that. There always has been. 

Iwa’s thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice he had grown to love. “Iwa-chan! Stop spacing out! You’re supposed to be helping me study!” 

“...Right, yeah, did you finish the reading?” 

“Yeah, like five minutes ago. Seriously, what’s with you lately? You can only focus when you’re playing volleyball.” 

Iwa paused. He knew he could focus during volleyball because that’s the only time he could be certain Oikawa’s attention would be off of his fangirls as he focused on his teammates, including Iwaizumi, but there’s no way he could tell Oikawa that. Not a chance. 

Finally, Iwaizumi came up with a reasonable excuse, “Sorry, I’ve been really stressed lately with exams coming up and everything. Just tired I guess.” 

“Did Iwaizumi Hajime just apologize to me? Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” Oikawa teased. 

Iwa’s emotions were a mix of anger and embarrassment; he was hoping Oikawa wouldn’t pick up on the latter of the two. “I said I’m tired,” he managed to say through gritted teeth. 

Oikawa’s eye contact seemed to linger for just a moment longer than usual, making Iwa’s heart flutter before Oikawa turned back to his textbook. “Whatever you say, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa finally replied. 

Thank god, another narrow escape. It wasn’t the first time he’s been almost exposed, and it definitely would not be the last. That’s just the risk that comes with falling for your best friend. Well, it’s one of the risks. Iwaizumi was so incredibly aware of every little risk he’s been taking since he was nine years old, unwilling to take the even bigger risk of confessing his feelings. No matter how strong his feelings grew, he could never risk losing his friend in hopes of becoming more than that. Nothing was worth losing him completely. 

About an hour had passed, and Iwa had managed to focus on helping Oikawa study for exams. That is, until Oikawa’s phone lit up with a text. Iwa didn’t get the chance to read the text before Oikawa picked up his phone, but he could see the contact name. That alone was enough to hurt more than Oikawa could ever know. 

“Who’s ‘cutie’?” Iwaizumi asked, trying to stop himself from sounding hurt. 

“She’s, um, she’s just a friend.” Oikawa replied with his face turning pink. 

“Last time I checked, you didn’t get this flustered over just a friend. Try again.” And that was true; Iwa couldn’t recall a single time he had seen Oikawa blush like that. Jealousy was starting to set in. Just calm down, you don’t know what’s happening yet, he thought to himself. 

“Well, I’m hoping she won’t be just a friend for very long,” Oikawa said while smiling, his cheeks still a shade of pink Iwaizumi had never seen on him. God, he doesn’t know how badly that hurts. 

“And you didn’t think to mention it until now?” This time, Iwa let some of the hurt show in his voice. If he couldn’t be there for Oikawa in the boyfriend sense, he at least wanted Oikawa to trust him as his best friend. 

Oikawa looked surprised at the obvious pain he could hear. “I’m sorry, Iwa-chan. I just didn’t want you to think she was just another fangirl. She actually cares about me, I can tell.” 

Iwa was shocked. Did he really hear that right? Could he really hear the feelings his friend had for this girl in his voice? “Oh,” Iwa managed to say, “Then I’m happy for you.” That was a lie. He wished with everything he had that it wasn’t, but it was. 

“I’ll introduce you to each other after I ask her out, okay? I think you’ll really like her.” 

“Yeah, sounds great.” Another lie.


	2. Chapter 2

Iwaizumi didn’t sleep at all that night. He couldn’t help but wonder what went wrong. Did he mess up? Could he have done anything differently? No, there weren’t any mistakes; it just wasn’t meant to work out. He was never planning on taking his chance, but now there wasn’t even a chance to take. There was no shaking off that pain he felt deep within his chest every time he thought about Oikawa with someone else, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

How was he going to face Oikawa today? Apparently, he was planning on asking out this mystery girl during lunch, so Iwa would be introduced to her before afternoon practice. It would just be a quick conversation, but Iwa couldn’t think of anything he wanted to do less. He knew how badly it would hurt Oikawa if he refused to make an effort with her. Oikawa really wanted Iwaizumi to like her, but Iwa didn’t know if he could. 

Before any of this, morning practice had to happen. After a full night of restlessness, Iwaizumi felt anything but ready for practice. He didn’t want to see Oikawa and hear him talk about how excited he was to be asking out the person he described as “the second prettiest person in the school”. When Iwa asked who the first prettiest person in the school was, Oikawa replied with a huge grin as he said, “C’mon, Iwa-chan, it’s obviously me,” to which Iwaizumi responded with a playful shoulder punch. He couldn’t disagree with Oikawa’s statement. 

As Iwa hesitantly walked into the club room, he was greeted by a cheery Oikawa, looking as if he was having the best day of his life. Who knows, maybe it was the best day of his life. Iwa didn’t care. As much as he wanted to be happy for his best friend, he couldn’t bring himself to simply ignore his aching heart. It felt like after all these years, he was finally getting left behind. Iwaizumi knew how unreasonable he was being, but that didn’t stop the feeling of heartbreak. He wasn’t sure anything could. 

“Iwa-chan, you look awful,” Oikawa said, sounding genuinely concerned. 

“Thanks,” Iwa replied sarcastically. “I didn’t sleep well.” 

“It looks like you didn’t sleep at all. You said you were tired yesterday, so I thought you’d sleep fine. What kept you up?” 

“It’s none of your business,” Iwa snapped. He instantly regretted it as he saw the light in Oikawa’s eyes fade. 

“Oh,” Oikawa responded, sounding as though he was just stabbed in the back. 

“Wait, c’mon, you know I didn’t mean that,” Iwaizumi was hoping he wouldn’t actually have to apologize. Saying sorry wasn’t one of the things he was good at. 

“No, it’s fine. If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to,” the setter replied as his smile made an attempt at returning, but it wasn’t the same as before. It wasn’t as bright. 

Unsure of how to reply, Iwa tried to return Oikawa’s slight smile before turning away to change into his practice gear. He already messed up, and it hasn’t even been ten minutes. Great. Iwa could already tell how the rest of the day—no, week—was going to go. He’d be lucky if he didn’t entirely ruin his friendship with Oikawa by the end of the week. 

While getting changed, Iwa couldn’t help but remember the days when it felt like there could still be hope. “Jealousy is a disease, Iwa-chan!” That’s what Oikawa had said a year before, when Iwa had first expressed his dislike for the fangirls. Jealousy, is that what this was? This gut feeling of being left behind was jealousy? Iwa hated everything about it. From how it felt, to how it sounded, even to the guilt that came with the feeling, it was the worst thing he had ever experienced. He didn’t want to be that type of person, but what else can you do when the person you’ve had feelings towards for the past seven years had found someone better than you? 

“Iwaizumi, are you just gonna stand there, or are you going to actually practice?” Hanamaki asked, sounding confused. Apparently, Iwa had been spacing out for about five minutes, just staring at the ball in his hands. 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. I should practice,” Iwa replied, slightly dazed. 

“Are you okay, man? This isn’t like you.” 

“I’m fine, just tired.” How long would that excuse work for? Someone would catch on eventually, right? He’d have to think up something else eventually. 

“I can tell. You didn’t sleep last night, did you?” This time it was Matsukawa talking. Why did everyone seem to care so much all of a sudden? Nobody ever seemed worried about Iwaizumi before; they always assumed he could deal with anything by himself. Did he really look that bad? 

“Okay, I get that I’m a little off today, but what’s with all the concern? I’m seriously fine.” Once again, Iwa found himself lying. He hated lying. 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki stared at Iwa in silence for a moment. After what felt like an hour, Matsukawa said, “Dude, you just seem . . . sad. We were kind of hoping you could tell us what’s up.” 

Iwa couldn’t help but look over at Oikawa after those words reached him. His eyes quickly refocused on his concerned friends after Iwaizumi realized what he had just done. He hoped to god nobody noticed, but it was too late. Hanamaki’s eyes went wide, and his jaw dropped as he figured out exactly what Iwa was thinking. The secret was out. 

“Oh, is that what this is about?” Hanamaki asked, sounding shocked. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Iwa responded, hoping his lying wasn’t obvious. 

“You know damn well what I’m talking about, Hajime.” 

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” Matsukawa admitted. At least he didn’t notice; that was something. 

There was a moment of silence between the three volleyball players, Hanamaki staring blankly at Iwa as Matsukawa hoped for an answer. 

Iwa sighed, “It’s just—can we talk about this later? Practice is about to actually start.” At least that would buy him some time. 

“You’re not getting out of this conversation,” Hanamaki warned. 

“Fine.” And with that, Iwa turned back to the court and served the ball. It hit the center of the net, nowhere near making it over. Yeah, today was going to be difficult. 

The rest of practice went pretty much as expected. It was a complete trainwreck. Out of the many, many serves Iwa attempted, only five of them went in. His receives were a mess, his spikes were weak, and he didn’t even want to think about his blocks. He couldn’t call himself the ace at this point. The entire team could easily tell something was off. Even the coaches could clearly tell something was truly wrong. They didn’t yell at the struggling ace nearly as much as they would have on a normal day. 

After showering as quickly as possible and getting changed into his school uniform, Iwaizumi walked to class, ignoring anyone who tried to slow him down. Once he sat down at his desk and took out his notes, he remembered that he had agreed to talk to Hanamaki after practice. Oh well, Hanamaki would find him if he really wanted to talk about this. It’s not like it was something Iwa particularly wanted to talk about in the first place. 

As Iwaizumi rested his head on top of his desk, he heard Hanamaki’s voice, “Iwaizumi Hajime. I said you’re not getting out of this.” 

“I never tried to get out of it. I forgot,” Iwa replied honestly. 

“Fine, whatever. We can either talk here or go into the hallway, your choice.” 

Iwa hesitated. There weren’t many people in the classroom yet, but he knew Oikawa would probably be there soon. The hallway was loud and crowded, maybe crowded enough to blend in, but there was still a chance of running into Oikawa. Without saying a word, Iwaizumi made up his mind. He stood up and started walking towards the hall. Hanamaki followed. 

“Are you going to admit it, or do I have to force you to talk?” Hanamaki asked, except it sounded less like a question and more like a demand. 

“What am I supposed to admit?” Of course Iwa was aware of the fact that Hanamaki already knew the secret he had kept close to his chest for the past seven years, but it wasn’t an easy thing to admit. Not once in his life had Iwa ever admitted his feelings for Oikawa to anyone but himself. He was truly terrified of the situation at hand, and he isn’t someone who gets scared easily. 

“Oh right, because you totally weren’t looking at Oikawa like a hurt puppy all throughout practice,” Hanamaki said, sarcasm filling the air. “What a coincidence that you’re miserable as soon as Oikawa has feelings for someone.” 

Looking at his feet, he managed to say, “Please don’t tell him.”

“Do you really think I’d do that?” 

“No, but I just, I don’t know, I just had to be sure.” It was unlike Iwa to stumble over his words like that. Everything about this situation was embarrassing. 

“Hey, I won’t tell. Don’t worry,” Hanamaki said in a comforting tone. “But you know you have to talk to him soon if you want a chance, right?” 

“I know. I’m not planning on telling him.” Just like that, he could feel his own heart start to crack. Maybe it hadn’t set in earlier, but now he was confirming that he was giving up any chance he had. He actually said it. Iwa looked back up to see a confused Hanamaki looking back at him. Understanding the confusion, Iwaizumi explained, “Whoever this girl he likes is, she’s really special to him. I don’t want to get in the way, and I don’t want to lose my best friend.” 

“I get it, but you’re not even gonna try?” 

“It’s not worth the risk.” 

Having said that, Iwa decided the conversation was over. He turned back to the classroom, seeing Oikawa walk in. He took a deep breath, walked into the room, and sat back down at his desk without a word. Unfortunately, Oikawa wasn’t going to let Iwaizumi get away with his wordlessness. 

“Hey, what the hell was that?” Oikawa sounded furious. “I know you didn’t sleep well, but that was truly awful. It’s not like you to mess up that badly during practice.” 

Once again, Iwa felt trapped. If he made up some excuse, Oikawa would know he was hiding something. Being able to read people so easily was one of Oikawa’s not-so-hidden talents. 

After thinking for a moment, Iwaizumi said, “I don’t know.” In truth, he really didn’t know. Yeah, his life really sucked right now, but how did it affect his ability to play volleyball so much? He couldn’t explain it. 

“You don’t know? Iwa-chan, you look like someone shattered your heart into a million pieces, and you have absolutely no clue what’s going on?” 

Damn Oikawa’s keen perception. He was figuring out too much too quickly. “I really don’t want to talk about it,” Iwa stated definitely. 

“You can’t avoid talking about it forever.” Despite his light-hearted, almost teasing tone, Iwaizumi could see the concern in his friend’s eyes. For all of Oikawa’s ability to read Iwa, did he really have no idea how he felt? 

“Shut up.” It was the only thing Iwa could say without giving in to his friend’s implied request to let him help with whatever was going on. 

After a moment of silence between the two, the bell rang, signaling the start of class. Was Iwaizumi going to pay attention? Absolutely not. Was he going to pretend he was paying attention to avoid further questioning from a certain setter? That was the plan. 

But as all the preceding events would predict, nothing was going to go as planned. Oikawa leaned over and whispered, “Take a nap. You can copy my notes later. I’m not going to let you use tiredness as an excuse for practice after school too.” 

Iwa simply acknowledged the offer with a nod before laying his head down on his desk, welcoming the idea of sleep. As he felt pure exhaustion take over his mind, he realized he’d have to come up with another excuse sooner than expected. Maybe he could go back to his ‘stressed because of exams’ excuse, but honestly, he was too tired to even try to think of anything else. He closed his eyes and let his mind shut off as he fell asleep. 

The next thing he knew, the bell rang, waking him up for lunch. He looked to his left to see Oikawa putting away his notebook with a smile on his face. “Good morning, Iwa-chan!” He sounded happy, maybe a bit too happy. 

As Iwaizumi rubbed his eyes, he remembered why his friend was in such a good mood. Lunchtime meant he was about to ask that girl out. Suddenly all the dread from that morning came rushing back. “Morning,” Iwa replied flatly. 

“C’mon, can’t you sound a little more excited for me? This is a big deal.” He was right. It was a big deal, but not only for Oikawa. 

“I’m so excited for you,” Iwa replied, his voice laced with sarcasm. 

“At least pretend to care.” He was so unaware of how much pretending Iwaizumi had been doing. Iwa was already at his limit for pretending. 

With an eye roll, he responded, “Of course I care.” Finally, something he could be honest about. He really did care, just not in the sense of wanting this to happen. 

“Good! I’m really excited for you to meet her. I think you’ll really like her,” he said with a genuine grin on his face. 

“You don’t even know if she’ll say yes.” 

Oikawa shrugged, his grin unwavering, “I’m an optimist.” 

Iwa let out a fake chuckle, “Okay, hurry up and ask her out already.” He didn’t mean a single word of that. Hoping his friend didn’t pick up on his silent plea for him change his mind, he turned his back on Oikawa in order to take out his lunch. 

“Wish me luck!” Oikawa said before quickly getting up and walking into the hallway. 

After Iwaizumi was certain Oikawa was gone, he mumbled under his breath, “Please don’t do this.” It felt as though all the air was being taken from his lungs as tears threatened to fall. Through all their years of friendship, Oikawa had never shown romantic interest in anyone. Before now, Iwa had thought that almost made it worse. Always being the closest person to him, but never being close enough. Now that Iwa would no longer be the most important person in Oikawa’s life, he realized how wrong he was. Nothing could hurt more than this. 

Silently saying goodbye to the sliver of a chance he thought he may have had, he took his first bite of his lunch. It didn’t taste like anything at all. Iwa couldn’t even begin to process anything other than the pain filling his chest. 

Suddenly, a voice disrupted Iwaizumi’s lack of thoughts, “Are you alright?” It was Hanamaki. When did Hanamaki get there? How long had it been since Oikawa left? Iwa wasn’t sure. 

“What do you think?” Iwa replied, his voice beginning to break. 

“I think there’s only ten minutes left of lunch and you’ve only eaten a bite.” So that’s how long it’s been. Almost an hour. 

Iwa looked down at his barely-eaten lunch, “I guess I’m not really hungry.” He felt like if he ate another bite, he would throw up. 

“Did you even eat breakfast?” 

“Yeah, sort of.” To be honest, Iwaizumi couldn’t remember what he ate for breakfast. He knew he ate, though. 

The two boys sat in an understanding silence for a few moments before Iwa spoke again, his words slow and even. “It really hurts.” That was the understatement of the year. 

Hanamaki nodded slightly, “I know it does, but it’ll be okay. You just need some time.” Iwaizumi knew his friend was right, but it felt like the world was falling to pieces. He simply nodded in response, slowly taking another bite of his lunch. 

Oikawa walked back into the room with his smile shining brighter than Iwa had seen since he was given his ‘Best Setter Award’ in their final year of middle school. Iwa felt sick knowing that the reason for his smile could never be him. “Geez, who died?” Oikawa asked, his smile quickly fading as he sensed the atmosphere of the room. The last thing Iwaizumi wanted was to be the cause of Oikawa’s smile fading. 

Again, wordless, Iwa got up and walked away. He didn’t really have anywhere to go, and he knew he’d have to be back in time for class, but he left anyway. When Oikawa called after him to ask where he was off to, he simply replied with, “Bathroom.” 

Walking down the hall, he felt the need to punch something. Iwa couldn’t exactly say he was angry, just frustrated. Frustrated beyond belief. There was no way for this to turn out well for him. All he could do is pretend to be happy for his friend. Before turning into one of the bathroom stalls, he kicked the trashcan lightly, just to get some of the frustration out. Iwaizumi slammed the door of the stall shut and sat down, resting his forehead on his shaking hands as he tried to calm himself. He was at his breaking point, and he hadn’t even met this girl yet. How was he supposed to meet her and actually carry a conversation? How could he be the supportive best friend he wished he could be when everything he ever wanted was just taken away? 

As he heard the sound of the two minute warning bell, a single tear rolled down Iwa’s cheek. It would be a silent tear, never to be spoken of to anybody. He wiped away his tear and took a shaky breath, not wanting to face Oikawa yet. Unfortunately, Iwa had to be in class, so he gathered all the courage he could find in himself before walking back down the hall towards his inevitable despair. 

He sat down, ignoring the concerned glances Oikawa tossed his way. Although he knew he’d have to have a conversation with Oikawa eventually, he just couldn’t do it now. After a long moment of awkward silence, the bell rang, and the teacher began talking. Iwaizumi could feel his friend staring holes into the side of his head. It took everything in his power to ignore the brown eyes looking at him with worry, and it took so much more than that to focus on the lecture. 

Not liking being ignored, Oikawa decided to take matters into his own hands with a whispered word. “Hey,” he said calmly, both of them knowing Iwa could only ignore unspoken words. 

“What do you want?” Iwa whispered back, praying their teacher wouldn’t notice. He knew he could’ve been nicer, but putting on a fake happiness right now would’ve been too much lying for one day. 

“Are you mad at me for something? What did I do?” Crap, Oikawa sounded like he’d be willing to do anything to fix whatever mistake he could’ve made. Little did he know that Iwa was the one who made a mistake. 

“What? No, why would I be mad?” That came out a little louder than Iwaizumi intended. 

Oikawa opened his mouth to respond before their teacher interrupted, “Do you two have something to add to the discussion?” She was talking in that tone teachers always use when they’re annoyed with their students. 

“No. Sorry, Ma’am,” Oikawa replied. He shot another concerned glance towards Iwa before turning his head to the front of the classroom. Iwaizumi knew Oikawa’s interrogation would resume as soon as class was over, that gave him at least a bit of time to prepare for the inescapable mess.


End file.
